Foster your child’s perceived self-worth
When we think of ADHD, words like impulsivity, hyperactivity, and inattention come to mind, but self-esteem isn’t as popular. The debate about the inadequacy of the school system and its impact on self-esteem for these individuals isn’t talked about enough.
Self-esteem
Even academically, there isn’t a large body of research on the topic, and the research available is more directed towards adult populations. This makes sense, considering that self-esteem is a complex construct that could be defined as one’s perception of self-worth. It’s too abstract for kids to fully understand it, so we narrowed it down mainly to self-efficacy, which is their perception of their ability to perform a certain task or attain a certain goal. Even though it is not 100% scientifically correct, we will use both terms without differentiation in this article.
Lack of self-esteem
In the few articles available, children with ADHD seem to have lower self-esteem than their neurotypical peers. This is due to a large number of reasons. For example, their attention problems interfere with their schoolwork. While doing a certain task or trying to do their homework, they are corrected and often get negative feedback about it. Adding that to the lower grades of ADHD kids in comparison with neurotypical kids, it makes sense that they value themselves less than others. Other reasons include peer rejection and increased detention and suspension rates at school, the last reason being due to impulsive and hyperactive symptoms.
In one other article, we mentioned the struggles of homework for these kids, which can also be very frustrating for the parents. If the parent doesn’t react well, it can foster a bad child-parent relationship. So, a relationship that should be supportive and turns stressful can negatively impact their self-esteem.
To finish this section, we found an interesting finding by Molavi and others (2020) that showed that the predominantly hyperactive ADHD subtype scored higher on self-esteem than the combined or inattentive types. This can be due to a lower cognitive impairment that leads to better academic performances and, in turn, results in higher self-esteem.
What to do to help?
No parent wants to see their kid feel like they don’t have what it takes to succeed and not trust their own abilities. Luckily, as a parent, you can do much work to help them. The first step is to identify when they don’t feel particularly confident. Since kids have very limited inner speech, they will externalize their feelings, making it easier to identify: they can be reluctant (or even anxious) to perform a task, systematically avoid a certain task, or directly say “I can’t do it.”
In those moments try to calm them down and:
- Underline their strengths. Reference some past examples where they did well in a similar task.
- Give a lot of praise, and make them feel valued and embraced with positivity. Don’t forget to value their effort even if they don’t succeed.
- Recognize their successes. They can be big or small, but remember to celebrate them all.
- Find activities in which they can feel competent. There was a study conducted by Yuen and others (2021) that showed that learning magic tricks had a positive effect on self-esteem. It doesn’t necessarily need to be magic but try to find some fun activities for the child in which they can progressively feel more capable.
After reviewing a video by Dr. Sharon Saline, a clinical psychologist devoted to kids with ADHD (just to name one), we found another interesting tip. Self-esteem and well-being go hand in hand, and a good way to improve well-being is to 5. Foster relationships that make you feel good. Kids usually look up to someone, maybe a relative or just a friend that they enjoy being around, who in turn makes them feel good about themselves. Therefore, as a parent, you can facilitate the contact between your kid and that person.
Be mindful
- Do you think your kid thinks highly of himself?
- What do you do when your kid is not feeling so confident?
Conclusion
In conclusion, be aware of your child’s self-esteem and help him/her make a positive change. Focus on their strengths and be sure to highlight every little win he/she accomplishes. Your StarKid should know how valuable and special he/she is.
